Crap & More Crap
Saturday, May 29, 2004
|Thursday, May 27, 2004
A new way to remember the ABC's. Hell yeah they should teach this in school I would have never had any trouble at all. Thanks to Steve for the link who got it passed on from FRANKENBLOG. This is for the two people who read the site enjoy jerky
ABC
Frankenblog
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213 things that you can not do in the army
This was found on an entensity link. I have them linked, this was funny as hell.
213 things that you can not do in the army
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This was found on an entensity link. I have them linked, this was funny as hell.
Does this guy look like a real life pirate to anyone else.
ARRRRRR MATEY
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ARRRRRR MATEY
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
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Enjoy
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Petition MLB to bring back Jose Lima's wife's boobies in this now cropped picture. Damn MLB spying on people just like in that Simpsons episode with Mark McGwire.
Sign This petition
This is what we are fighting for man.
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This is what we are fighting for man.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Everyone talked about and saw this picture. I thought I give you one more look.
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BOOBIES
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BOOBIES
Monday, May 24, 2004
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Theodaddy had this linked on the wvu site. I hadn't seen it in awhile, it looks like they added some new ones for this kid. Be prepared to wet yourself.
Net Photo
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Back from my trip to Atlantic City. It was a good time except for the Flyers losing Saturday night. Holla
Saw these two people in the audience. In front of us
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Saw these two people in the audience. In front of us
Saturday, May 22, 2004
I'm off to Atlantic City to celebrate my 30th birthday today. See you all suckers later when I come back rich as shit.
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Friday, May 21, 2004
I stole this from my good friend Steve. his link is on the right hand side. Check out his stuff too or I will punch you in the gut the the GOOCH did to Arnold Jackson.
A man dies and finds himself in Hell. Needless to say, he's pretty bummed about it. The Devil walks up to him and says:
"Hey, man. Relax. Hell's not so bad. You like to drink?"
Dead Guy: "Yeah. I love to drink."
The Devil: "Well, hey! Monday, that's all we do. We drink till we puke and you don't have to worry about getting a beer belly or becoming an alcoholic 'cause you're dead, right?"
Dead Guy: "Awesome!"
The Devil: "Say, you like doing drugs?"
Dead Guy: "Faghedaboudit!"
The Devil: "Great, 'cause Tuesday is drug day. Reefers, coke, heroin, meth, you name it we got it. And you don't have to worry about OD'ing, dirty needles, AIDS, any of that shit."
Dead Guy: "'Cause I'm dead! Sweet!"
The Devil: "See, you're catching on already. How do you feel about Gambling?"
Dead Guy: "Shit. I love to gamble."
The Devil: "Well, that's good. Wednesday is gambling day and if you blow your wad, no worries. Nobody's going to strong arm you and the bank's not coming after your house. You're dead, what do you care?"
Dead Guy: "This place is the best!"
The Devil: "But wait, there's more! You like to smoke?"
Dead Guy: "You know it, 'Zub. Mind if I call you 'Zub?"
The Devil: "Not at all. Not at all. Anyway, Thursday is smoking day, and we got it all. Marlboros, Camels, Lucky Strikes, Dunhills, Cubans, whatever. And if you get cancer, who cares?!? You're dead!"
Dead Guy: "It doesn't get any better than that!"
The Devil: "Say...you gay?"
Dead Guy: "Uh...no. No, I'm not."
The Devil (winces): "Eeewww...you're not gonna like Fridays..."
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A man dies and finds himself in Hell. Needless to say, he's pretty bummed about it. The Devil walks up to him and says:
"Hey, man. Relax. Hell's not so bad. You like to drink?"
Dead Guy: "Yeah. I love to drink."
The Devil: "Well, hey! Monday, that's all we do. We drink till we puke and you don't have to worry about getting a beer belly or becoming an alcoholic 'cause you're dead, right?"
Dead Guy: "Awesome!"
The Devil: "Say, you like doing drugs?"
Dead Guy: "Faghedaboudit!"
The Devil: "Great, 'cause Tuesday is drug day. Reefers, coke, heroin, meth, you name it we got it. And you don't have to worry about OD'ing, dirty needles, AIDS, any of that shit."
Dead Guy: "'Cause I'm dead! Sweet!"
The Devil: "See, you're catching on already. How do you feel about Gambling?"
Dead Guy: "Shit. I love to gamble."
The Devil: "Well, that's good. Wednesday is gambling day and if you blow your wad, no worries. Nobody's going to strong arm you and the bank's not coming after your house. You're dead, what do you care?"
Dead Guy: "This place is the best!"
The Devil: "But wait, there's more! You like to smoke?"
Dead Guy: "You know it, 'Zub. Mind if I call you 'Zub?"
The Devil: "Not at all. Not at all. Anyway, Thursday is smoking day, and we got it all. Marlboros, Camels, Lucky Strikes, Dunhills, Cubans, whatever. And if you get cancer, who cares?!? You're dead!"
Dead Guy: "It doesn't get any better than that!"
The Devil: "Say...you gay?"
Dead Guy: "Uh...no. No, I'm not."
The Devil (winces): "Eeewww...you're not gonna like Fridays..."
Thursday, May 20, 2004
JOKE TIME AGAIN.
Passed on to me from Joe
Anniversary Gifts
A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they
gave their wives for their anniversary. The rich man
says, "I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes
Benz." Poor man asks, "Why did you buy her two gifts?"
The rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like
the diamond necklace, she can drive her Mercedes Benz
to take it back."
The poor man acknowledges the rich mans answer then
proceeds to tell him what he got his wife. "I got my
wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo." With a confused
and intrigued look, the rich man asks, "Why did you
buy her those gifts?!" The poor man replies, "Well,
in case she doesnt like the flip flops, she can go fuck
herself."
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Passed on to me from Joe
Anniversary Gifts
A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they
gave their wives for their anniversary. The rich man
says, "I bought my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes
Benz." Poor man asks, "Why did you buy her two gifts?"
The rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like
the diamond necklace, she can drive her Mercedes Benz
to take it back."
The poor man acknowledges the rich mans answer then
proceeds to tell him what he got his wife. "I got my
wife a pair of flip flops and a dildo." With a confused
and intrigued look, the rich man asks, "Why did you
buy her those gifts?!" The poor man replies, "Well,
in case she doesnt like the flip flops, she can go fuck
herself."
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I was cleaning out my desk drawer today looking for a business card and I ran across this old piece of paper with this link. It still works so what the fuck, why not try it.
Popular Link
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Clyde sent this to me. I found it to be funny and so should you. Except for the moral cause fuck them both.
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for
yourself!
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering
heat all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit
the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and
everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being
Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news stations film the group
singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the
group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
sake. Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an
interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten
rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay
his "fair share." Finally, the EEOC drafts the
"Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant
is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government. Hillary gets her old law firm to
represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against
the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the
case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain
it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't vote for the
Poodle (The poodle is John Kerry, he's french, gets
$1000 haircuts, and is accompanied and kept by rich women).
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THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in
the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for
yourself!
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering
heat all summer long, building his house and laying up
supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video
of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth,
this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit
the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and
everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being
Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news stations film the group
singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the
group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
sake. Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an
interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten
rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay
his "fair share." Finally, the EEOC drafts the
"Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant
is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government. Hillary gets her old law firm to
represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against
the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the
case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain
it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't vote for the
Poodle (The poodle is John Kerry, he's french, gets
$1000 haircuts, and is accompanied and kept by rich women).
Monday, May 17, 2004
|Friday, May 14, 2004
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I hate those web hijacker things. I got caught once with a version of one. I smacked that fucker around with a little ad-aware and spy sweeper. Those people can suck it. This poor bastard though had major problems with this shit. Don't know how honest he is
Poor bastard
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The Joys of alcohol. I don't think I have ever heard s tory like this one.
Priest & Mayor cage match
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Clyde passed this photo along to me.
RIP
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RIP
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Thursday, May 13, 2004
|Wednesday, May 12, 2004
This was pretty funny. Kellen Winslow entered the NFL and he hired these two brothers as his agent, these guys are suppose to be total pricks, so they will get along well with Kellen.
Winslow
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Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Picture found at spitcircle link
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I mean come on now, who in their right freakin mind doesn't love a mullet and we ain't talking about fish baby
Mullets
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Wait until you see this cause if you play around with it, you will probably burn in hell. See you all there
Dress up
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JIMMY!!!!
Man I love South Park, this is the episode where the handicap kid does steroids to win the Special Olympics. While on roids, he goes into roid rage.
>
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Man I love South Park, this is the episode where the handicap kid does steroids to win the Special Olympics. While on roids, he goes into roid rage.
>
Monday, May 10, 2004
Another Anti Spam site from politicssuck link. This one is the old fake name Heywood Jablowme, kind of like Peter Goesinya. Use this address when you don't want shit sent to you
Jablowme
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This site was posted on the politicssuck link I have. This is fucking great man. Spam and more SPam. Fucking Spammers, I have about nine email addresses and each time I find spam in one of them. Some I haven't even used the email publicly. What the fuck is that all about. Uppity bitches
Mailinator
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I have never been one to watch the show Survivor, but last night the boy was sleeping in our room and my wife was taping the show for her mother, so it was either watch that or nothing. I saw a lot of the last season of Survivor due to two characters, the white/blonde hair dude John & fat loveable Rupert. John was a total dick on the show, the kind of guy you love to hate. Rupert was just the opposite, big & fat like a teddy bear.
So last night it get down to four people, with fat loveble Rupert being one of them. The guy looks like he has been following the Dead around for his entire life. Like my brother said to me "it looks like Rupert has been stealing his stash of drugs and booze" since he is a drug & alcohol counselor. But anyways my man had a chance to win big bucks last night but some women screwed him over. Poor bastard, you just want this guy to win some cash, so MArk Burnett the genius cooks up this thing where America gets to vote on who will win $1,000,000.00. Fucking Rupert should win this thing in a landslide.
Vote here
You fuckers better vote for this fat loveable man or you will all go to HELL.
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So last night it get down to four people, with fat loveble Rupert being one of them. The guy looks like he has been following the Dead around for his entire life. Like my brother said to me "it looks like Rupert has been stealing his stash of drugs and booze" since he is a drug & alcohol counselor. But anyways my man had a chance to win big bucks last night but some women screwed him over. Poor bastard, you just want this guy to win some cash, so MArk Burnett the genius cooks up this thing where America gets to vote on who will win $1,000,000.00. Fucking Rupert should win this thing in a landslide.
You fuckers better vote for this fat loveable man or you will all go to HELL.
Friday, May 07, 2004
|Thursday, May 06, 2004
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Steve had this on his site at one time, I forgot about it until today when it jumped back into the head. Engrish, a cross of English & Japanese to English translation. All good in the hood
Engrish
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004
I found this link from Apechild, it is funny as shit. read it to pee your pants
Mental Ernie
I have seen this link on about ten sites now, so fuck it I am adding here also.
Iraq sign maker
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I have seen this link on about ten sites now, so fuck it I am adding here also.
Why the fuck can't people leave Pat Tillman alone like he wanted.
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I can't believe that competitive eating is really a sport now. This guys is nuts. One telephone booth of popcorn please.
Popcorn
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Holy shit man did I piss myself while reading the perfect day. credit to Junior for passing it on.
This is frigin hilarious!
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
open
presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret
admirer
4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before
full
length mirror
7:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude
who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending
over, naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated;
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending
over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog
to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
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This is frigin hilarious!
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
open
presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret
admirer
4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before
full
length mirror
7:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude
who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending
over, naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated;
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending
over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog
to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Holy Crap I'm going to hell. Link credit to politicssuck
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Very High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | High |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Moderate |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Extreme |
| Level 7 (Violent) | High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | High |
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
Pat Tillman, sounded like one hell of a guy.
Tillman article
Here is the article that started all the shit about Pat TIllman's death
Chicken SHit
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Here is the article that started all the shit about Pat TIllman's death
Monday, May 03, 2004
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Ahhh. What memories this pictures brings back to me.
I'm Rick James bitch
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I'm Rick James bitch
I do not condone this type of behavior, but hey it is only a game. See how many people you can blow up as a suicide bomber.
kaboom
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Sunday, May 02, 2004
Some friends of mine from Camp Hill that also went to WVU have a band called the No Show Ponies. They have no business sounding as good as they do. If you are ever in this area look them up for a show.
No Show Ponies
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Jim,
these Willy Wonka photos are for you. He wa always scared of these little bastards
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these Willy Wonka photos are for you. He wa always scared of these little bastards
Saturday, May 01, 2004
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