Crap & More Crap
Thursday, December 30, 2004
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Sorry for the delay between postings, I was away for awhile. Back to the good stuff
Fireball anyone?
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
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Is this guy's head completely up his ass or what
guy buys virtual island for $26,500.00 real dollars.
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Man at the Nudist Colony
Thanks Stang
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.
On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman
notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new," says the hairy man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted
by the smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?", she says. The man
yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can
keep the $500 membership fee." "But, Sir," she replies, "you've only
been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our
facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 75 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day
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Thanks Stang
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.
On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman
notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new," says the hairy man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted
by the smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?", she says. The man
yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can
keep the $500 membership fee." "But, Sir," she replies, "you've only
been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our
facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 75 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day
Sometimes I act like a six year old and laugh when I'm not suppose to, this is one of those times
Monday, December 20, 2004
A WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS CAROL
George W. Bush was thrilled with his being returned to the
White House, but something very strange happened.
On the very first night, he was awakened by George
Washington's ghost. Bush asked the ghost,
"President Washington, what is the best thing I could do to help
the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised
Washington.
With all the excitement of the White House, Bush still couldn't
sleep well, and then, later on that night, the ghost of Thomas
Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.
"Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
Bush asked.
"Govern fairly. Help insure that there will be justice for all," Jefferson
answered.
Bush still couldn't sleep well, and much later he saw another
ghostly figure moving in the shadows.
It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
Bush asked.
Lincoln replied, "Go see a play."
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George W. Bush was thrilled with his being returned to the
White House, but something very strange happened.
On the very first night, he was awakened by George
Washington's ghost. Bush asked the ghost,
"President Washington, what is the best thing I could do to help
the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised
Washington.
With all the excitement of the White House, Bush still couldn't
sleep well, and then, later on that night, the ghost of Thomas
Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.
"Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
Bush asked.
"Govern fairly. Help insure that there will be justice for all," Jefferson
answered.
Bush still couldn't sleep well, and much later he saw another
ghostly figure moving in the shadows.
It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"
Bush asked.
Lincoln replied, "Go see a play."
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. It is a little long but worth the read
Man 1 Bank 0
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
| | | | | | | |Monday, December 13, 2004
| | | | | | | | |Saturday, December 11, 2004
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Christmas Story for people having a bad day....
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa
that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully," Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree
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When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa
that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully," Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
| | |Sunday, December 05, 2004
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WHO DOESN"T THINK HE IS GUILTY
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Saturday, December 04, 2004
| | | | | | | | | | | |Wednesday, December 01, 2004
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I know I know I'm going to hell for this, but you are all coming with me for laughing
Been a couple of days since posting. I've been playing online poker a lot over at this site Poker Champs and haven't bothered to post anything new.
My Mountaineers are going to the Gator Bowl to play Florida State, I won't be going this year, went last year and in 97 to theGator Bowl and we lost, so I must be bad luck. 
This guy seems pretty normal
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My Mountaineers are going to the Gator Bowl to play Florida State, I won't be going this year, went last year and in 97 to the
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