THORNTON MELON

I stole this from my good friend Steve. his link is on the right hand side. Check out his stuff too or I will punch you in the gut the the GOOCH did to Arnold Jackson.


A man dies and finds himself in Hell. Needless to say, he's pretty bummed about it. The Devil walks up to him and says:
"Hey, man. Relax. Hell's not so bad. You like to drink?"
Dead Guy: "Yeah. I love to drink."
The Devil: "Well, hey! Monday, that's all we do. We drink till we puke and you don't have to worry about getting a beer belly or becoming an alcoholic 'cause you're dead, right?"
Dead Guy: "Awesome!"
The Devil: "Say, you like doing drugs?"
Dead Guy: "Faghedaboudit!"
The Devil: "Great, 'cause Tuesday is drug day. Reefers, coke, heroin, meth, you name it we got it. And you don't have to worry about OD'ing, dirty needles, AIDS, any of that shit."
Dead Guy: "'Cause I'm dead! Sweet!"
The Devil: "See, you're catching on already. How do you feel about Gambling?"
Dead Guy: "Shit. I love to gamble."
The Devil: "Well, that's good. Wednesday is gambling day and if you blow your wad, no worries. Nobody's going to strong arm you and the bank's not coming after your house. You're dead, what do you care?"
Dead Guy: "This place is the best!"
The Devil: "But wait, there's more! You like to smoke?"
Dead Guy: "You know it, 'Zub. Mind if I call you 'Zub?"
The Devil: "Not at all. Not at all. Anyway, Thursday is smoking day, and we got it all. Marlboros, Camels, Lucky Strikes, Dunhills, Cubans, whatever. And if you get cancer, who cares?!? You're dead!"
Dead Guy: "It doesn't get any better than that!"
The Devil: "Say...you gay?"
Dead Guy: "Uh...no. No, I'm not."
The Devil (winces): "Eeewww...you're not gonna like Fridays..."