Crap & More Crap
Sunday, February 27, 2005
I think this is a repost but still funny. Watch this kid find his way into movies
Kid puts himself in the movies
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Kid puts himself in the movies
Keeping a promise is never easy Watch Noah try
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Stifler dance from AMerican Pie 3 Guy does a damn good job
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Wednesday, February 23, 2005
| | | | | | | | | | | |Tuesday, February 22, 2005
A funny joke from the Queen
The Deaf Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has embezzled $10 million bucks from him. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd never have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper, "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the $10 million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says, "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling, "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!
The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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The Deaf Bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has embezzled $10 million bucks from him. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd never have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper, "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the $10 million dollars is hidden.
The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says, "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling, "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!
The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
Sunday, February 20, 2005
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And in other news Aunt Patty from the SImpsons is gay
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
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see how much of a lush you are
Bourbon
Congratulations! You're 125 proof, with specific scores in beer (160) , wine (83), and liquor (78).
Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.
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Bourbon
Congratulations! You're 125 proof, with specific scores in beer (160) , wine (83), and liquor (78).
Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.
Friday, February 18, 2005
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Airport screener misses butcher knife in purse
The worst part to me is that the screener will be undergoing retraining. What the fuck don't they fire people anymore
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The worst part to me is that the screener will be undergoing retraining. What the fuck don't they fire people anymore
Thursday, February 17, 2005
| | | |Saturday, February 12, 2005
| | | | |Friday, February 11, 2005
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |Tuesday, February 08, 2005
These guys are great, they did This Land & Good to be in DC spoofs on GWB
JIB JAB's take on Bush's second term
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JIB JAB's take on Bush's second term
I knew it was only a matter of time before this. I wonder if you have to pay for that site?
A prison in the Thai capital, Bangkok, is planning to broadcast inmates' daily lives, as well as their final moments before execution, live on the internet.
Thai jail plans death-row webcam
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A prison in the Thai capital, Bangkok, is planning to broadcast inmates' daily lives, as well as their final moments before execution, live on the internet.
Thai jail plans death-row webcam
Apparently GODADDY.com was suppose to have two commercials for the Super Bowl and the NFL called Fox and told them not to air the second one. read about it here
Super Bowl commercial for Go Daddy
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Super Bowl commercial for Go Daddy
Monday, February 07, 2005
It was one of the most baffling mysteries of World War II.How did convicted war criminal Hermann Goering manage to poison himself as U.S. soldiers prepared to hang him?
GI may have aided Goering's suicide
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GI may have aided Goering's suicide
http://poststuff4.entensity.net/020705/media.php?media=lazychair.wmv
machine makes the fucking motions for you
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machine makes the fucking motions for you
DISCLAIMER
This is a real life transmission of the Anderson County Sheriff's Department. Instances of violence or sexually inappropriate behavior by detainees
during the booking process may occur. Viewer discretion is advised. This is
a Jail, not a simulation. The persons in this transmission are either employees
of the Anderson County Sheriff's Department or arrestees.
jail cam
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This is a real life transmission of the Anderson County Sheriff's Department. Instances of violence or sexually inappropriate behavior by detainees
during the booking process may occur. Viewer discretion is advised. This is
a Jail, not a simulation. The persons in this transmission are either employees
of the Anderson County Sheriff's Department or arrestees.
jail cam
Sunday, February 06, 2005
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |Thursday, February 03, 2005
If anyone is ever in my area and is looking for a bank, don't go to this one. Commerce
My fathers company has a loan through this bank. Money was a little tight this month since we are a small business and all. I have an account there as does the company. Well someone in their loan department(Tasha Clagett) took it upon themselves to withdrawl from my personal account thinking I was my father and tied to the company. Needless to say I was shocked when I saw a loan payment for $6,300.00 and that payment put my account overdrawn because of outstanding checks that had also come in. Boy was i pissed. i would not have even known they had done this had it not been for me having to put money in my wife's account. I immediately get on the phone and ask what is going on. They say that it looks like a loan payment was taken out, and I respond that I don't have a loan with your bank. The lady says let me check on it for you and i will call you back. She is nice enough to call me back and says I need to talk to Tasha. I call Tasha and she tells me that yes she debited my account against the business account. One thing though Tasha, although me and my father have the same name, we are not the same person. So you went in to my account, didn't check an address, a social security number or anything and just took my money and again i would not have even noticed had it not been for me having to look at my account to transfer money. I was more than pissed off. It is always hard to keep cool when someone screw up that bad. I asked her what she was going to do and she said it was a mistake, but didn't say it in a nice way but was a snotty bitch about it. I again ask what she is going to do and she again says snotilly that it was a mistake. I eventually get over it and of course still upset by what they did. Well today I get a NSF (non sufficient funds) letter in the mail today. That pisses me off again. this time i want someone's fucking head to roll for this mistake. Tomorrow I will be scheduling a meeting with the managers to ream Tasha a new asshole as well as her boss Rory. I will also be pulling all my funds out of that bank. FUCK YOU COMMERCE BANK!!! YOU NO GOOD ROTTEN MOTHERFUCKERS try and take my money will you.
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My fathers company has a loan through this bank. Money was a little tight this month since we are a small business and all. I have an account there as does the company. Well someone in their loan department(Tasha Clagett) took it upon themselves to withdrawl from my personal account thinking I was my father and tied to the company. Needless to say I was shocked when I saw a loan payment for $6,300.00 and that payment put my account overdrawn because of outstanding checks that had also come in. Boy was i pissed. i would not have even known they had done this had it not been for me having to put money in my wife's account. I immediately get on the phone and ask what is going on. They say that it looks like a loan payment was taken out, and I respond that I don't have a loan with your bank. The lady says let me check on it for you and i will call you back. She is nice enough to call me back and says I need to talk to Tasha. I call Tasha and she tells me that yes she debited my account against the business account. One thing though Tasha, although me and my father have the same name, we are not the same person. So you went in to my account, didn't check an address, a social security number or anything and just took my money and again i would not have even noticed had it not been for me having to look at my account to transfer money. I was more than pissed off. It is always hard to keep cool when someone screw up that bad. I asked her what she was going to do and she said it was a mistake, but didn't say it in a nice way but was a snotty bitch about it. I again ask what she is going to do and she again says snotilly that it was a mistake. I eventually get over it and of course still upset by what they did. Well today I get a NSF (non sufficient funds) letter in the mail today. That pisses me off again. this time i want someone's fucking head to roll for this mistake. Tomorrow I will be scheduling a meeting with the managers to ream Tasha a new asshole as well as her boss Rory. I will also be pulling all my funds out of that bank. FUCK YOU COMMERCE BANK!!! YOU NO GOOD ROTTEN MOTHERFUCKERS try and take my money will you.
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