THORNTON MELON

Funniest story I have heard in a long time



This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best
Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year-old white
male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious Behavior, public
indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on
Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he
decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he
stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled
over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was
appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his
need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with
evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County
police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this
pumpkin."Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you
are screwing a pumpkin?' "

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then
looked me straight in the face and said:

"A pumpkin? shit..is it midnight already?'"