THORNTON MELON

My mother sent this joke to me. It is old but now they have added a few more lines to it, to make it current. By the way it is 9:53 and PITT SUCKS



Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.



The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.



Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who said "Patrick Henry,

1775."

"Very good!



Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for

the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"



Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said

Suzuki.



The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki,
who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do. "



She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."



"Who said that?" she demanded.



Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."



At that point, a student in the back says, "I'm gonna puke."



The teacher glares and asks,"All right! Now, who said that?"



Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,1991."



Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"



Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,



"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"



Now with almost a mob hysteria someone says, "You little shit. If you say
anything else, I'll kill you."



Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra
Levy 2001."



The teacher faints. And as the class gathers around the teacher on the
floor, someone says, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"



And Suzuki says, "Martha Stewart, 2003."